The basic acynic
Why do we start treating people nicely, far nicer than we are usually accustomed to, when WE are in deep trouble? A walk with a random stranger becomes an encounter to treasure, locking eyes with the grocery store cashier immerses us in gratitude, and a casual conversation assumes intense importance, as if it is the last word that will resonate across this world, before the million years of silence sets in.
I have two theories for this very strange behavior:
1. When all hell breaks loose and it looks like there will a radical shift in the way things function, much to our displeasure, we look for things that will annul this change, that will reaffirm our (clearly false) belief that everything is under control and would become normal. It is like the classic clutching of the straws problem -- grab anything you can to revitalize your faith, including the cashier's smile. This is merely a basal instinct to keep your beliefs intact and ensure their survival. Fine, but too logical. And hence, uninteresting.
2. The second theory is better. And more romantic:
Perhaps it is defiance. A battle against an unknown entity, showing it that no matter what the trouble is, it shall be overcome. Survived. And the rest of the journey, enjoyed. Almost like a warrior that knows he will be pierced by a thousand arrows and yet, walks into the battle to fulfill his purpose. To find meaning in his own life. Ironically, by choosing death. And when it comes, he is there no more to celebrate. But he is content. Or should I say, he was. Despite its strangeness, this pattern has a beauty akin to a baby's smile in the midst of a thousand wails. So I like it.
In either case, there is no reason to feel cynical about life, about lost loves, about passions unfulfilled, about questions unanswered. The aforementioned behavior only means that we are all wonderful acynics that love and treasure life and the world we live in. We just haven't figured it out yet!
ps: No, the thought has zero correlation with failed loves, lost friends or unfair bargains. So do not sympathize. If you do understand what I am saying, just raise your hand - that will make me more than happy! :)
I have two theories for this very strange behavior:
1. When all hell breaks loose and it looks like there will a radical shift in the way things function, much to our displeasure, we look for things that will annul this change, that will reaffirm our (clearly false) belief that everything is under control and would become normal. It is like the classic clutching of the straws problem -- grab anything you can to revitalize your faith, including the cashier's smile. This is merely a basal instinct to keep your beliefs intact and ensure their survival. Fine, but too logical. And hence, uninteresting.
2. The second theory is better. And more romantic:
Perhaps it is defiance. A battle against an unknown entity, showing it that no matter what the trouble is, it shall be overcome. Survived. And the rest of the journey, enjoyed. Almost like a warrior that knows he will be pierced by a thousand arrows and yet, walks into the battle to fulfill his purpose. To find meaning in his own life. Ironically, by choosing death. And when it comes, he is there no more to celebrate. But he is content. Or should I say, he was. Despite its strangeness, this pattern has a beauty akin to a baby's smile in the midst of a thousand wails. So I like it.
In either case, there is no reason to feel cynical about life, about lost loves, about passions unfulfilled, about questions unanswered. The aforementioned behavior only means that we are all wonderful acynics that love and treasure life and the world we live in. We just haven't figured it out yet!
ps: No, the thought has zero correlation with failed loves, lost friends or unfair bargains. So do not sympathize. If you do understand what I am saying, just raise your hand - that will make me more than happy! :)
posted by littlecow at
10:43 PM
17 Comments:
Its small things like that which make my day :-) I am a believer in the second theory too. A smiling baby in a crowded local train is another example? That smile, that baby cap with frilly edges and those tiny shoes can so make your da y.
has a beauty akin to a baby's smile in the midst of a thousand wails.
have you been around a baby recently? they do cry a lot when they feel like it.
word verification: pupxsy :-)
@evenstar: Yes, babies are the prettiest creatures on earth! Looks like you also like their caps and shoes, although I cannot vouch for the same. :)
I have been around babies for most of my life. They love me, absolutely! (except for my little cousin in Phoenix, who claims that I am no scientist and that her math is better than mine. It might interest you to know that she is all of 5 years old!) :)
But a babies whine is intoxicating (no pun intended) making it the most tolerable whine in the world, after the ones from bordeux, of course!
After spending 10 days with kids of all ages, sizes and colour, I surely raise my hand and holler "I do agree" to the lone line in red :)
As for the rest, I am still figuring out acynic, so will get back later :D
@kumari: Kids... sigh! The other day, me and my colleague were running an experiment. I was savouring a japanese dessert (mango flavored) with my legs on the workbench, perched on a 4 feet tall chair, while he was lost in thought as the electronics took care of the rest. I venture "I don't think growing up is a good idea". Vigorously he agrees "Growing up sucks". On that note of agreement, we return to our own worlds. :)
Kids are indeed wonderful for the life they live and the lives they bring to life. Probably God's best creations. Except for the plumbing of course!
Btw, you should post pictures of the florida trip on your blog!
At a difficult time, things have a way of looking even worse than they are....everyone seems to be out to 'get you' And I think perhaps we are just dying to get away from the morosity and longing for a sympathetic smile...a ray of hope as it may be....even if it is a stranger, maybe exactly because it is a stranger who isn't a part of the above mentioned morosity.
Also, I've been looking for the contacts of the three of you who write the Book Selection blog. I was wondering if I could offer myself for membership. I like reading too and some of the books you have reviewed have been my favorites. I'd love to add to this list. My email address is just_astatistic@yahoo.com. Please let me know. Thanks!
@ideasmith: Right,ho! Akin to theory no. 1 I suppose. But monstrosity makes me angry but stupidity makes me helpless. I prefer the former.
Dude, totally agree with theory number 2. Goes back to the optimistic character of human nature - the feeling that no matter how bad things r today, tomorrow will be a better day. I think that is why religion is a winner - because religion says that everything in the world has a logic - the good and the bad...
@b-a-l: Yes, the connection between religion and optimism might be right. I guess the presence of the concept of a god who we can lean on is a major factor - in other words, the removal of responsibility.
When one is faced with failure or loss, one tends to find support in something or someone. I think its insecurity and not optimism. Didn't want to be the cynic in your acynic post but.. thats what I think..
@mimosa pudica: I have been in a situation like that before. I have also felt insecurity. But, the kindness when in deep trouble that I am talking about is most definitely not insecurity. I can assure you that much, atleast in my case!
Welcome to my blog, btw. Your handle reminded me of good old days when we walked across fields and through lakes hunting for mimosa pudica!
It could also work the other way round. When you are not willing to be pushed down you will see good in everything that happens.. perhaps that is insecurity too, or a need for affirmation of our beliefs.
I guess, more often than not when I am feeling down and lo..and complaining to my friends and family...after a while it just becomes silly.. very minuscle in problems of the huge wide world and then it disappears..
So something like the sun breaking out of the clouds.. a smile from someone who has refused to acknowledge you so far..can go a long way.
I wouldn't want to be cynical about it..I think its called putting me in my place as I see it ..:)
@ligne: Arre... I am telling you fellows it is not insecurity. For sure. Affirmation, perhaps. But insecurity, no way! This way or that, if you are not a cynic, well and good. But dont get rid of that habit entirely - a little bit of cynicism is necessary. :)
finally the cynic in you rises
whispering...it ain't a bed of roses
it isn't uncommon to have a few vices
not everyone can be moses
:)
@mimosa pudica: :)
From your sharp eagles eye,
Try hard medid to protect the I,
But really, there is nothing to vie,
If I do, all thats said would become a lie.
- the part-time cynic that got caught while preaching. *Sigh*
ps: Btw, that was a beautiful verse you made up!
A cynic i was,
And sniggered at every lad and lass,
The little baby smiled,
All that cynicism just died.
Ah ha! Little babies, strong men, romantic women, that feeling akin to love, almost love, LOVE itself, dreamers, the movers and shakers, the list is endless.... makes me sit up and meekly raise my hand and say "yes sir count me in".
Fine piece of writing especially the second theory, in particular the web of romanticism it weaves!
@betterhalf: Welcome to the club! Reminiscing about life is one of my favorite passtimes. Looks like it could be yours too!
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