changing seasons...

Boys and fights...

What is it between boys and fights? They relish every one of it, flaunt their performance forever and refuse to stand down even when they become men. The plain fact is that men love fights!

I have been under eternal denial -- refusing to accept my own like of mutilating the enemy, forgetting the bullying episodes that I was famous for, never acknowledging the mean streak in me that helped defend myself from larger piranhas in my high school. Afterall, was I not the furious fighter who would take on anyone without worrying about his size? I duelled with Suri after class because we did not agree on a subtle point regarding his teasing my friend. We went at each other until we were both tired and then, we walked back home together. This is rather illogical behavior whichever angle one looks from. Even to us, it seems rather strange. Then, what about the seniors who had plans of beating up their juniors who exposed them in the exams? what about the band of cricket players who settled every one of their matches not on runs scored but with fist fights? Have I become one of them or do I have the right to maintain my own visions of false nobility?

I have tried too hard to be and become a nice man. Alas! I miss the pleasures of being a winner and rapidly I succumb to the dark side.

It is an inherent instinct in men to push forth when wounded, to achieve victory using all and any means that are deemed "legal" but not necessarily ethical. We see it lurking behind facades of niceties, waiting for the kill behind benign smiles and benevolent words. Perhaps, there is no difference between an animal and a human -- a prey is a prey, you see.

Is it justifiable? Is it good for the society? Does it make one happier or healthier? I dont know -- what I do know is that its pull is so strong that I consider abandoning everything in an all out race to claim victory.

"Long live the king."
"And who is the king?"
"I!"

A flip-flop

Harold Urey was awarded the nobel prize in chemistry for isolating Deuterium (an isotope of Hydrogen) and he was a mentor of Carl Sagan (the great astronomer). Although Sagan always thought Urey had a wonderful opinion of him, Urey had actually written a scathing review about his tenure at Harvard (and Sagan was promptly denied tenure). Years later, Urey writes to Sagan confessing that he has not always been nice and that his opinion of Sagan had been wrong.

"This flip-flop seems akin to the perceptual shifts of the face/vase illusion, an abrupt reversal that is occasionally to be found in human relationships as well. Urey seems to have conceived a new way of looking at Sagan, a way to appreciate him for who he was rather than faulting him for what he wasn't." writes his biographer William Poundstone.

All this is just another possible evidence for the prevalence of the changing nature of human relationships - from friend to foe, from enemies to allies, from pleasantness to stoic indifference... It gives me solace that it is not a unique event restricted to my own life but sadness that it should happen at all.

littlecow

good weather is just around the corner! (urbana, IL)

Mahanadhi

what does a little girl who lives in a family of three -with a little brother-taken care of by only the grandmother,do when the grandmother unexpectedly falls ill? in search of money, she approaches the wrong people for work and they certainly provide her with some. driven into prostitution and sold to a flesh trader, she is pummeled to the depths of agony and never allowed to raise her little fingers up. she is crushed by hoardes of paedophiles all seeking their moments of pleasure with innocence until she is rescued once again by her father. this is the crux of the brilliantly made tamil film "mahanadhi".

as all good movies do, this movie brought to light a perennial problem which haunts this society but one which the bourgeois conveniently chooses to ignore- pretend it never exists or that it happens to very few to even take notice of. are justified to ignore it simply because only one person suffers? what about the thousands of tiny voices which cry out from the red light districts of mumbai, chennai, calcutta or from every corner of this world? are we expending the innocent lives of kids, whose lives are spent in satisfying the sexual appetite of men - the very men who work in your factory, the very men who drive your buses and transport your bank balances?

Oh, its all %$#$%$#@$#.

oscar and i

chris landreth used to walk around my lab about 15 years ago. advised by my prof, he earned a masters degree, hung around the fishbowl, watched movies with department mates and did everything that a typical grad student does.

after his masters, he went on to work in the animation industry and soon started producing his own animations. in 2005, he won the oscar for the "best animated short film". this was an absolute delight! the proximity to greatness tends to give a certain sense of satisfaction. you can watch his movie, Ryan, here:

http://www.onf.ca/ryan/