Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Swaha Swaraj - The search and its aftermath

Sometimes, the value of things we have is lost when it exists. It goes, we look elsewhere and keep looking forever, never to find what we lost. One of those forlorn days, it strikes us hard. And then, we blog.

No, I am not talking about my long lost love, my stolen bicycles or my youth. I am talking about freedom -- the pleasure granted by one human to another to work independently without being asked questions incessantly, the privilege of not having to worry about any malicious intent to screw one over the other. And it is this freedom, that I seem to have lost. Worse still, the loss is a forced one.

My advisor left a few months ago. The half-decade I worked with him, I felt like King (it was more like Lalloo since I had unlimited, unquestioned access to the treasury...) -- I could walk into the lab anytime I wanted, spend as much $$ as I wanted and work on whatever problem interested me at that point of time (which happened to be girls occasionally but I never told you I discussed everything with my boss). All good things have to come to an end (I dont believe it). And so, one fine morning, he called me to his room and said he was going to leave (and thus surprised me and I stared at him for a full minute).

Since he left, I have been tormented by the new boss. The last straw was when I woke up tomorning and exchanged 10 emails and wasted precious minutes of my exquisitely wonderful morning (and the lives of 2 others who were cced on) wondering/discussing/answering questions as to why a repair quote was $100 more than what was (wrongly) envisioned by the boss.

Not that I am averse to writing emails -- infact, I love to exchange emails. But its the content that really pisses me off -- perhaps, he could have added a garb of humor (which he is entirely capable of), a touch of grace (unlikely) or even a sentence to laud the world in general for filling our life with unlikely problems (like this) so that we dont have to think about more important issues. Alas! and now, I sit in front of my monitor and wonder, "what if?"...

Then...

Google speaks:

"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom" - Albert Einstein.

I take this to heart. Now, I have two reasons to graduate.

*RIP*

7 Comments:

Blogger janani said...

Sad but true! Pain in the a** bosses are much more commoner than the other kind. Welcome to the real world! :-)

2:09 AM  
Blogger littlecow said...

@a,j: The question is, do people become p-i-th-a unable to cope with the burden of responsibility or is it just normal? if latter, most of the world is filled with p-i-th-as? *opens window and looks at 'real world'*

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Probably a power game. They become so when they know they have nothing to lose in throwing their weight around. If your boss was present, things would have probably been different in the same dealings. It happens in regular social settings as well...

3:05 PM  
Blogger littlecow said...

@anon: Yes, that was my theory too! But, I wonder if there is another (more happier) explanation to all this.
Welcome to my blog, anyways!

7:19 PM  
Blogger janani said...

oh you mean these ppl who are so unbearable at work are nice when you know them persoanlly? na i don't think so, the world is filled with them!

9:42 PM  
Blogger littlecow said...

@janani: ah! another of my kind -- scepticus humanis!

9:47 PM  
Blogger littlecow said...

@a: you are lucky to be blessed with such good leaders. who knows, one of these days, you would become one of them, leading your soldiers to happy victories. as for your questions, i am as confused and clueless as anyone else! may wisdom prevail upon you and me ... one day. some day.

9:52 AM  

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